Talk to Me: Headhunters
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: Something's wrong with Castle and the women in his life are determined to find out what it is.


**A/N: I'm back! Y'all were so welcoming and the plot bunnies have been racing around like crazy in my head. So I'm going to do a 'Talk to me' series based on episodes where I wish Caskett would have for the love of heaven just talked or kissed it out! The stories will be one shots (I think) with the exception of this story. It will be linked to my version of 'Always' - which will be coming soon, so stay tuned! This story is written in Kate's POV - and is my version of post Headhunters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. The amazing Marlowe does - I just like to play with Caskett for a little bit ;)**

* * *

"_What if I waited too long?"_

"_You weren't waiting, Kate. You were healing."_

"_So, what do I do?"_

"_What do you want to do?"_

_**-Headhunters**_

* * *

"Detective Beckett!"

I turned at the sound of my name and took an involuntary step forward as I saw Alexis Castle hurrying up the steps of the courthouse towards me. Swallowing the knot of fear that rose from my stomach, I clutched my travel mug of coffee tightly and met her halfway. "Alexis, what's wrong? Is your dad or Martha-"

She waved my words away. "Dad's home writing and Grams is still sleeping."

My eyes fluttered shut momentarily as the knot dissolved. "Then what are you doing here?"

"Dr. Parish said you were testifying this morning and so I snuck out before anyone noticed. Can we talk?"

The clock chimed the quarter hour – 8:45. "I have ten minutes, Alexis, and then I have to be inside."

She grabbed my free hand and dragged me down the steps. "I'll be quick, I promise."

_What is it with not being able to say no to people if their last name is Castle? _I wondered silently as the young woman pulled me to a bench facing the courthouse. When she didn't speak for a full minute, I broke the silence. "I really don't have that much time-"

"What did you do to my dad?"

"Excuse me?" I stared at her in surprise.

Alexis frowned at me. "I know you've had a really rough year, with getting shot and everything – but you have to know how much my dad cares about you." She paused as I tried not to squirm under the scrutiny of her gaze. "If he had been just a few seconds faster, he would have taken that bullet for you, Detective Bec-"

"Please call me Kate."

She gave me a look I couldn't read before she nodded slowly. "I didn't want him to go back to working with you but he couldn't stay away – he said that he was happy just to being by your side."

My eyes were filling with tears. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I want to know what you did! For the past month my dad has been walking around the apartment like he's lost his best friend. He can't write, he can't sleep, Grams and I can barely get him to eat – Kate, what happened? Did you tell him you didn't want to work with him anymore – that you didn't want to be his partner?"

I gasped. "No! What makes you say that?"

Alexis took a deep breath as she broke eye contact and stared over my shoulder. "Two days ago, Dad came home all excited about the severed head case and naturally Grams and I assumed he was working with you until he started talking about some Detective Slaughter- is that really his name?" her eyes darted back to mine.

I nodded.

Alexis shuddered. "Anyway, I asked him where you were and he said you were busy working on trial prep. And I was relieved because he was so different – so unlike my dad that I was glad it was just a onetime thing. But then he said 'maybe not'."

My gut clenched. "That's what he said?"

She nodded. "Yeah – those were his exact words. And then last night he came home barely able to stand up straight and went to bed with an ice pack. When Grams asked him what happened he said it was just a hazard of the job and laughed. Kate, what the hell is going on? I thought you and my dad were partners, friends. I thought you cared about him-"

I placed my hand on the teen's arm but Alexis flinched at the contact and moved slightly away. "We are partners and I do care about him, Lex. I'm just dealing with a lot of things from my shooting and-"

"And you think he's not?" Alexis lashed back at me. "I'm worried about him, Kate. I haven't seen him this depressed since-" her voice trailed off and she bit her lip.

"Since when?"

"Since right after your shooting – when you said you'd call him and you didn't."

A soft moan escaped as my eyes fluttered shut. I felt the tears starting to escape just as Alexis threw her arms around me. "I'm sorry – I'm sorry. Dad would kill me if he knew I'd come here to attack you like this and I'd made you cry and-"

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay." I ran my hands up and down her back. "I know you're worried about him, Lex. I'm worried, too. Your dad started pulling away from me about a month ago and I've been trying to figure out why. So far I've come up empty."

She pulled away to pin me in her direct gaze. "Have you confronted him about it?"

"I was giving him time to come to me."

Alexis rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath about grownups. "Subtle doesn't work with dad – don't you know that by now? You either have to sneak up and blindside him or come in with your guns blazing."

I glanced at the clock tower and gasped. "I have to go but I'll come by and see your dad tonight after work. Can you make plans so you and Martha will be out?"

Alexis grinned. "No problem."

* * *

I'd had enough.

I thought we'd been making progress. With every passing day, I felt like Castle had been slowly taking down a piece of my wall until now there really wasn't that much left. Six weeks ago when we had had that horrific bombing case, I had been ready to tell him that I was ready to start a relationship outside of work – and I had the strangest feeling that he was going to say the words he hadn't said since the day I got shot. But then, something happened and I still couldn't figure out what the hell it was. One minute we were practically ready to fall into each other's arms and the next, he was turning down drinks at the Old Haunt and walking away from me.

The next thing I knew, he was coming back from Las Vegas with a flight attendant on his arm – and though he was never one to kiss and tell, he certainly hinted that they had had spent an intimate weekend together. And just three days ago he had worked with another detective – one that could have gotten him killed if it hadn't been for Javi, Ryan, and me. It was no wonder Alexis had come storming down to the courthouse to find out what the hell was going on with her father. I just wish I'd had the answers. But I was going to get them.

I'd had enough.

* * *

My plan really wasn't that elaborate. As Alexis said, to be subtle with Castle was useless. One really had to knock him over the head with a cast iron skillet most of the time to get his attention. I decided to pick up our usual order from Remy's and take it over to the loft and once we'd eaten, ask him what the hell was up. I decided against asking him to my place because that gave him an escape route: he could always leave if he didn't want to answer my questions. But since I was cornering him in his own home, he had nowhere to run. At least, I was hoping he wouldn't run out and leave me there.

Alexis texted me that she and Martha were going out to dinner and then a movie while I was waiting for the order. I texted back and told her to have fun, so I was surprised when my phone rang.

"Beckett."

"_Katharine, darling, is that how you answer your phone?"_

I smiled. "Martha, how are you?"

"_I'm fine. Alexis and I are on the way out but I wanted to talk to you-"_

"Oh? About what?"

"_She told me you're coming over here to talk to Richard."_

"Yes – is that a problem?"

_Martha sighed. "I don't want to pry into things that aren't my concern but Richard is hurting right now, Katharine, perhaps-" her voice trailed off._

"Martha, Alexis and I are very worried about Cas- Rick. He hasn't been acting like himself lately."

"_Give him some time – nothing keeps my boy down long."_

Realization dawned on me and I leaned against the wall behind me. "You know what's bothering him – he's told you whatever it is."

_There was a slight pause before Martha said, "He cares for you, Katharine."_

"I know he does."

"_Do you know how much? Do you know what kind of a relationship you want with him?"_

My knees shook and threatened to buckle. "Martha, why are you asking me this?"

"_I just think you should know the answers before you talk to him – and if you don't, maybe you shouldn't talk to him tonight."_

"Why should I –" The answer hit me like a wave and I sank into a nearby chair. _He knows. He knows I remember everything the day of my shooting – including his words of love. _

"_Katharine, darling – are you there?"_

"I'm here," I whispered, the words barely escaping as my mind continued to race. "You and Alexis have a wonderful time. I'll see you later."

"_Katharine-"_

"No, Martha – everything's fine."

* * *

I fixed a bright smile on my face to hide the turmoil going on inside of me as I knocked on the door of Casa Castle. It was a full minute before I head Castle's shuffling feet on the other side, but I wasn't worried. I hadn't called or texted for fear he would come up with an excuse to bolt from the loft. The door swung open and the welcoming smile on his face dimmed slightly as his eyes landed on me standing on his doorstep.

"Beckett, what are you doing here?"

I swallowed and drank in his unkempt appearance, so unlike his well groomed one that appeared at the precinct. His hair flopped over his left eye, but not enough to hide the dark circles under them that indicated lack of sleep. He was wearing a loose fitting tank top over sweats that hung low on his hips and I itched to reach out and pull up his shirt to see how his bruise was healing.

"Kate?"

My eyes snapped back up to meet his and I flushed with the knowledge that I had been caught staring at my very handsome partner. I licked my lips and held up the take out bag. "I brought Remy's – hope you're hungry," I grinned and bumped his shoulder with mine as I pushed my way past him into the loft, not giving him a chance to say no.

As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed the nest of blankets and pillows on the oversized couch in front of the TV, along with the ice pack and his lap top on the coffee table. I began to unload the food on the island. "Did I interrupt your writing?"

The sound of the door closing brought my head up and Castle's eyes met mine across the room. "No – I was asleep."

Guilt swept through me as I recalled Alexis' words that he hadn't been sleeping well. "I'm sorry – do you want me to go?" I cursed inwardly as soon as the words were out, knowing that if he told me to go, I'd have no choice but to comply with his wishes. I wasn't going to stay where I wasn't wanted.

His shoulders slumped wearily as he began walking towards me. "Would you mind? I'm really-" his words trailed off as his eyes fell on the food in my hands. "Is that a bacon cheeseburger?"

I nodded.

He grabbed it from my hand, unwrapped it and took a huge bite. "Are there any onion rings?"

I laughed and handed him the bag.

"Excellent!" he did a fist pump in the air and took it from me.

I sunk my teeth into my own Hawaiian burger as Castle walked to the fridge. "What do you want to drink, Detective?"

"What happened to Kate?"

His head popped back around the door in surprise. "Did you say something?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'll take a beer, Rick."

His eyes held mine for a long moment before he grabbed two bottles and came back to the island to hand one to me. I swung up onto one of the stools and he stood on the other side and ate his bacon burger like he hadn't seen food in a week. When he held out the last onion ring to me, I smiled and popped it in my mouth. "Thanks – you didn't have to share."

"I noticed you didn't get any for yourself."

"I wasn't very hungry tonight."

"Why not?"

I played with the neck of my beer bottle, knowing that this was my opening and I couldn't waste it, couldn't back out now. "I had more than dinner on my mind when I came over here tonight, Castle."

I waited for him to make the typical sexual wisecrack – after all, I had set him up for it so perfectly but instead I watched as he physically withdrew from me. He picked up our wrappers and put them in the trash and began to wipe down the counter. "Oh? And what might that be?"

I grabbed his hand when it came close to mine. "Do you think you could stop cleaning for a moment so we could talk?"

His eyes flashed up to mine and I had to take a deep breath as I saw the pain in them. "What do we have to talk about, Beckett?"

"Us."

He laughed, a hollow, empty sound and I shuddered. "There is no us, Kate." He threw the sponge in the sink and walked around the island, heading for the living room.

I cut him off, stepping into his path so fast that his hands shot out to my hips to prevent him from running into me. "The hell there isn't, Castle! We're partners – you may not be a cop but you're the best damn partner I've ever worked with. No one has ever had my back the way you do and no one builds theory with me the way you do and no gets me the way you do," I stopped to take a breath. "Or are you going to throw that all away to work with Detective Slaughter? The man with a death wish – who nearly killed you and left you with this?" My hand shot out and shoved up his shirt to reveal the deep purple bruise on his lower abdomen. "Oh, Rick," I breathed, as my fingers traced the outer edges. "You really should have this looked at-"

His hand covered mine and the shirt fell back into place. "It's fine – I'm fine." He stepped around me, heading for the couch.

"The hell you are! Something's been eating at you for over a month now – will you please just tell me what's bothering you instead of acting like a jackass-"

He snorted as he collapsed on the couch. "You really don't know?"

I sat on the coffee table so I was directly in front of him. "I'd like you to tell me."

"Why? You don't tell me things."

His words cut me like a knife but knowing that I had lied to him when he had asked me point blank if I remembered, I deserved his bile. Placing a hand on his knee, I whispered, "You love me."

He trembled beneath my fingers and I tightened my grip, fearing he would bolt. "You remember."

"Yes."

"How long?"

I bit my lip.

"How long, Kate?"

"I never forgot."

I watched as my admission hit him hard. He shook off my hand and lurched to his feet. "My God, Kate! I knew you remembered but to hear you say you never forgot-" he ran his fingers threw his hair. "I think you should go."

I shook my head. "No – not until you hear me out."

"I don't think I want to hear anymore – obviously you don't return my feelings, Kate. What other reason could there be for you to lie to me all these months-"

Unable to watch him beat himself up any longer, I screamed. He looked at me in surprise and I fought the urge to laugh. "You make me so mad sometimes that I want to scream – but this is the first time I've actually done it," I sighed. "Look, not everything is about you, ok? I remember everything from the day I was shot – everything: the pain of getting shot, the screams, you crying and holding me and telling me you loved me. All of that combined with Roy's betrayal and death and my mom- it was all too much, Castle. I – I couldn't deal with it, not all at once. Hell, I've even been seeing a therapist to help deal with it and it's actually been helping but not as much as you."

He stopped pacing to stare at me. "I helped you? How?"

I smiled. "Just by bringing my coffee every day, and building theory, and not letting go."

He frowned and looked at the floor. "But I've always done that and it's not enough anymore, Kate – at least not for me. I want more."

I licked my lips as I stood up and came to stand in front of him. "How much more?"

He reached for my hand and I gripped it tightly, lacing his fingers with mine. "I want more than to be the one that you build theory with and the guy that brings you coffee every morning at the precinct. I want to be the guy that brings you coffee in bed and is the first person you see when you open your eyes in the morning. I'm so in love with you, Kate, but if you don't feel the same way, you need to tell me now. I'll wait for you as long as you need - so long as I know there's hope for us-"

I nodded. "Rick," I whispered as I closed the distance between us. "I'm still not ready – not for an all out relationship or to say the words back to you but I need you to know that I'm close. That the wall is close to coming down and that's all thanks to you – and that if you could be patient with me just a little while longer-"

Castle swallowed. "Are you sure?"

I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against his, wrapping my arms around his neck. For a moment, he remained frozen and then I felt his hands in my hair and his mouth opened to mine and I was sinking into the warmth of his love. When we'd kissed two years ago, I'd seen stars and the emotions he had unleashed had scared me to death. Now I welcomed the warmth that spread from my belly and made my toes curl – and it was SO much better than I remembered.

I pulled away to breath the words against his lips. "Wait for me?"

He grinned. "Always."

* * *

It was hours later that the sound of the front door closing woke me from a light sleep and I opened my eyes to see Martha bending over the couch, holding a blanket. I turned my head to see Castle sleeping peacefully, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, a slight smile on his face.

"I didn't mean to wake you, darling. Go back to sleep."

I smiled sleepily as I snuggled back into Rick's chest. "How was the movie?"

Martha rolled her eyes. "Alexis met up with girlfriends and ditched me."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I met one of my gentlemen friends – in fact, he's waiting downstairs. I just came up to get some wine."

"That's more than we needed to know, Mother," Castle murmured sleepily, as he pulled me closer.

"Good night, darlings," Martha laughed as she slipped out the door.

"I should go too."

Castle's eyes flew open. "Stay."

"I shouldn't."

He brushed some of my hair behind my ear. "To sleep, Kate, nothing more. I haven't been sleeping well-"

I brushed the circles under his eyes. "I can see that. Do you need me to tuck you in and tell you a bedtime story?"

He grinned. "If you're offering, I won't turn it down."

I rolled my eyes as I stood up and held out my hand. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Once we were in his bedroom, Castle handed me an oversized shirt to sleep in but grabbed my hand before I could disappear into the bathroom to change.

"What is it?"

"You don't have to stay with me, Kate. If this is too much, too soon, you can still-"

I placed a finger across his lips to stop his flow of words. "I'm OK with this, Rick. As long as you know all we're doing tonight is sleeping."

He captured my hand and kissed the fingers. "All I want is to hold you."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Can I get undressed first?"

"Can I watch?"

I smiled, secretly glad that that the sexual innuendos were back. Grabbing the oversized shirt, I sashayed to his bathroom. Just before I shut the door, I tossed my sweater out the opening and laughed as it hit Castle in the face. "Good things come to those who wait."

* * *

**A/N: Well, what did you think? TBC in 'Always'. . . . Reviews are LOVE!**


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